Self-Care Saturday

Because it’s not all about the party, ya’ll.

We all know Bert and I love to throw a bash. It’s what spawned Blue Phoenix, after all. But planning and executing the kind of shindig that’s up to par with our standards can take a lot out of a person. And when the party’s over, it’s important to sidestep the burnout.

People like to throw around the term Self Care like it’s a one size fits all solution. Some of us don’t have the time or resources to take a spa day or check out from the world. It doesn’t mean self-care takes a backseat; it means you think creatively about yourself—what do you need and how can you get it without dropping all those plates?

Apart from being an event planner, I am also a day job haver, a mother, a writer, and a wife. If I let it, the everyday demands of wearing all of those hats could easily break me. I decided I needed to take care of myself.

Enter Self-Care Saturday.

It doesn’t have to be Saturday (I just like the alliteration), but I choose one day a week in which everything that can be put on hold, is, and I participate in an activity meant for me. That could mean baking a loaf of bread and then eating it slathered in butter while I watch The Great British Baking Show in my comfy chair; it could mean taking an hour or two to get a fancy coffee and browse a bookstore for something new; it could mean scrolling through TikTok for way too long or coloring in my “Big Book of Swear Words” coloring book.

The point is that the activity doesn’t have to be productive, it doesn’t have to have a goal, it only has to be something I enjoy, and—this is the important part—I do it alone. Most of the time, I come out the other side feeling refreshed and ready to take on book edits or a party budget or a project my teenager forgot was due that day.

I can already feel you shaking your head. Yeah, self-care sounds great. Who wouldn’t love that? But you don’t have time or energy or money to do anything. Also, did I forget we are still in the middle of a pandemic?

Let me help!

Below, I’ve compiled a list of my favorite self-care quickies. Some may work for you, others won’t. It’s the nature of the beast. But I hope you’ll at least give them a try.

Watch a movie you love, but everyone else in your house hates. (I typically go with Iron Man or any of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. Yes, I’ve seen them a million times, but that’s not the point—Bert would probably say anything by Dolly Parton).
Eat at McDonald’s. Or any other fast-food place you love but avoid because you’re supposed to.
Plop a lawn chair in your backyard (on your apartment patio, or the park), put your phone away, and observe. Sometimes it’s too easy to get too deep into your head, to forget the world is Big and Full of Stuff to Look At.
Drop that hobby you don’t touch anymore. (What?! I know. It sounds counterintuitive. But getting rid of those cross-stitch patterns you never touch will ease the guilt you feel every time you look at them. Trust me.)
Take a nap. Go ahead. You deserve it.
Make a cup of good, herbal tea. Don’t just plop it in the microwave, though. Boil the water in a kettle, use a fancy teacup, let it steep for longer than you think, and then sink into your comfiest chair, drown yourself in blankets, and sip it like the queen you are.
Lay on the floor, headphones on, and soothing music playing, and try to pick out shapes in the ceiling.
Eat chocolate cake for dinner. Or breakfast. Or lunch. Dealer’s choice.
Put some make-up on. Paint your nails. Wear something fancy, even if you’re only going to be at home. Sometimes looking good DOES = feeling good.
Write a Good Job list – a list of all the things you feel good about doing that week, even if it’s just getting out of bed before you hit the snooze button. Celebrate every success.